If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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