Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
