I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
