i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
