the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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