I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
