My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize