So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
