if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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