I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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