I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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