I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
