then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
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