I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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