This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
