So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
