nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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