the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
