so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
