ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
