apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
