Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
