Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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