drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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