My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
