You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
they need to just BURY HIM!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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