Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
