just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
