is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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