Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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