i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
