People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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