Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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