is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
