How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize