Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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