Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize