Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize