The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize