There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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