just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunk is not a location!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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