Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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