I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
