hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
