There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
