Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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