so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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