i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
