i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
