it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
