So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
