I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize