Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
