We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize