I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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