You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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