I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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