All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
