if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i will never coherently bang her
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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