come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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