thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
