38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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