I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
