watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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