and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
