This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
